Updated 3/13: Chapter 114

Anything is an appropriate update time if you’ve stopped sleeping!

writing-prompt-s

“You humans sure have a strange sense of humor. Sure, your planet totally has huge bodies of water that cover most of the surface. As if something so scarce would just be found falling from the sky. I guess when we reach your home world tomorrow you can show us all these fantasies in person!”

i-didnt-think-this-far-ahead

“Sure, and lemme guess, you pay thousands for basic stuff like diamonds, too? Right…”

tachvintlogic

The human just stared at them. “Is that weird?”

“Of course it’s weird! Having that much liquid covering the surface is absurd.”

“No?” said another alien nicknamed Shrimp. Like the human, they were wearing an environmental protective suit as the ship was calibrated for Furgilian atmospheric conditions. “That’s not weird, my planet is 95% water. What’s your planet covered in?”

“Methane, but not nearly that much. It’s only 10% covered, and if I remember correctly my planet is a bit bigger than both of yours from your gravity requirements.”

“Oh, that’s explains why it’s so cold outside the suit,” said the human.

“Were you not wearing the suit at some point!?” exclaimed Shrimp.

“No, I would die if I did. I’m like 60% water. I would freeze instantly.”

“Same.”

Voov looked between the two of them, suddenly feeling the odd man out. “How do your planets have so much water?”

“I think ours are closer to our stars.”

“Yeah,” said the human, “the water came from comets in the outer solar system. The water helped keep the temperature range of the planet stable between night and day.”

“Wait,” said Voov, “you get most of your heat from your star? Not from thermal activity underground?”

“Exactly,” said Shrimp, “most planets I’ve been to get a majority of their energy from the star.”

“Huh,” said Voov. So they’re the weird one this time.

runicbinary

I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.

I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”

And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”

“Do you now.”

“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”

“Oh, and why’s that?”

“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”

“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”

Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.

zombolouge

I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis. 

sandsbuisle

Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”

Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”

Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”

batfamscreaming

The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list

vbartilucci

And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.

uberguber89

Forget the edgy “batman contingency: here’s how I’d kill all my friends” that’s all over YouTube Shorts, THIS is the series I want to see!

jmnp-art

🌱🏛️ • How about a short break?

itsmattibad

Howdy y’all 🤠

shift-shaping

Fandom hates ai until someone makes an audio post of their fav talking dirty. "Protect artists" "protect writers" But fuck voice actors I guess?

Like I'm just saying, some of y'all passing around posts made using AI voice acting are the same people railing against ai in writing and visual art. Where is the line? Only when your job/hobby is threatened? Come on now.

afroditeohki

PROTECT VOICE ACTORS TOO.

There are some amazing ones, including those doing fan voices, out there. Some take commissions. Go ask them to talk dirty like your fav character.

bnomiko

Figure collecting: Alucard and the dolls of depression

I was pretty hyped for the Alucard Nendoroid until I saw what accessories he came with…or more importantly, what he didn't come with:

- Heirloom sword - necessary, check
- Alucard shield - this is clearly S4 Alucard (who finally got tired of tanking hits with his face), so check
- And… a stick! … A stick?! -_- The same plain Jane stick that was used for something like 5 seconds in S2? Whyyy?

Just say no to stick : (

Keep reading

s-kinnaly

What would you do in this situation? ;3 

heyyitsbumblebee

warmup of my nature gilf

redspringstudio

This Leander certainly is... charming 😳 What's your favorite part of his design?

We're convinced this looks like a forbidden watermelon-flavored gummy... What flavor do you think suits Leander? 🍑

st-hedge

Have some totk Ganondorf